18| SEPTEMBER

Summer 2020 has left and today we have a rainy Saturday, in the mid 60s. I’ll be honest and admit that I enjoy the early Autumn days. The gnats are disappearing and so are the annoying space invaders that are the Spotted lantern flies. They fly in such a clumsy way and land wherever. Often times on you. I don’t care for insects but over the years have really respected them and their space. All I ask for is the same in return lol. Is that too much to ask for? Other than the fact that they kill trees and agriculture. They are a risk. My father has two old big trees in his back yard and they’re dried out. You can see the bark just peeling off. Others in his area have the same problem. I hate cold Winters but hopefully this one is cold enough and wipes some of them out for next year.

Another thing that comes up with the Fall is the Presidential election in the USA. I am reminded daily by texts and social media and signs on people’s house and cars. I am registered and have been since I became a Citizen. Don’t worry, I wont go in on anything political in this space. Just Vote. Vote for what you believe in and for what feels right within your heart.

Let me share some pictures that I have captured recently with the purpose of sharing them in this space:

Enjoyed tacos for dinner on Tuesday wink*, Rosie loves blankets. She will smell the blanket from the other room, and run up and just borrow beneath. You can notice her paws are still sorta raw. She gets these allergies every year during the end of the Summer into the Fall. Its been a lot of misses with this round though. Still trying to ease the discomfort and itchiness. The next picture is Rocky sleeping on the living room communal bed lol. Adrian’s books needed organizing. I did it in categories. He has super hero books, behavior and mood books, religious books which he really enjoys, and Holiday books as well. The Holiday ones are being kept on a different shelf. They’ll be added in later on in the year. The next picture is one of my mom’s rose bushes in the front of my father’s house. And the last picture is my little man this week off to school.

School… We take things one week at a time, one day at a time. Why? Because I am glad that he’s been able to attend school physically this year, and that could change from one day to the next. I am appreciative with how transparent they have been with everything, and always sending us emails with any update. He attends school on Mondays and Tuesdays and the remainder of the week I work with him from home with his school work and assignments. I just have such faith in the educational staff and the way that they’ve been working with us parents. It feels less of a stressor than it was in March. I try to space his days out BUT I have to also keep in mind that there will be good and bad days. So when we are both on the same page with tend to just do the most that we can, and get it out of the way. And its really helped because sometimes I give myself anxiety thinking about the next day and what it might be like, and yes, I remind myself that these fears are just that. Again, one day at a time, one school week at a time. Because it could all change.

I hope you're having a good week and if not, remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.

Love always, Cin.

17| DEAR JOURNAL

“Dear Journal….” Regardless of the amount of times that I’ve tried to switch it up, it always ends up starting off the same way. Every single entry, since 2008 in my music notes journal. That beautiful leather (don’t send the animal rights people after me!) journal that I ordered from Barnes & Noble what I feel was yesterday! Until the other day while writing in my journal about my new journal (keep up!) I flipped back to the very first entry and it read “9/12/08.” Picture included for proof, you’re welcome! I realized just how long ago that “yesterday” truly is.

I’ve kept some type of journal, my entire life. I’d call them my Diary in the beginning years. But then I felt that “Journal” was more mature. Doug Funnie might have some type of influence on that belief. My first Diary was a Lion King one. I think it was gifted to me or maybe I purchased it at a scholastic book-fair? But I was 8 years old at the time. I remember writing an “About me” section lol. Funny now that I mention it I realize that I sorta do that with every journal of mine. Something like a summary of where I’m at in that stage of life. I find that it’ll be helpful in case I go back to read any of my old journals. Which I do sometimes. I always laugh, and give myself credit for overcoming whatever I overcame. It’s a reminder that there is always something to overcome in life. After that Diary I owned a colorful Lisa Frank spiraled notebook that had a button to hold it shut. I remember it having different color pages. Some purple, some pink. In between the years I’d use any interesting looking notebook that I owned and make it into a journal. Id even staple blank printing pages together and make my own. Point is that I’ve always needed and created an outlet to lay down my thoughts because there can be many!

I started using the internet as a journal back in the year 2000? I used Yahoo, AOL Homepages, Angelfire, and others. I then stumbled upon a website Xanga.com and joined that community. You-tube’s original Beauty Guru now turned business CEO to her own Beauty line, Michelle Phan started out on Xanga. It was through her that I started to get on You-tube and even knew about it. She was a college student at the time. From Xanga, many of us transitioned to Livejournal.com. I still get notifications from that account ie birthday reminders. I still keep it active because—Nostalgia. And it is a journal. Just online. Livejournal offered the option in which your account/journal could be kept private and you had to allow access for people to read it. And thanks to this many of us would be raw and open, some were very open! Don’t get it twisted many of us were open even on Xanga because the internet wasn’t really accessible to the World. I mean, you can go online by using your cellphones nowadays! Back then the only cool kid I “knew” with a cellphone was Zack Morris. So yeah, we would be raw on there too and vulnerable, honest, and real. (I’m still in contact with many of my girls from there! Some of my greatest friendships developed there!) Since things are much more different today, it is why I find it a little more difficult to be open on here as Id like to be. Because I don’t want everything about me out there. What I share or over share with you all leads back to —I just want to help others. Help others know that “hey, I’m not alone” or “Wow, so this is normal…” the list goes on! That’s always been my goal. I’m enjoying helping myself along the way too. Cant forget to do that! This quarantining has made it difficult to do at times. Many times I’m honest.

This is my new Journal! It was a bit of a splurge but it’s a birthday gift to myself. And I want my journals to hold up over the years, so it’s well worth it! Get yours at Rustico.com!

Having an outlet and a place to put my thoughts somewhere other than in my mind really helps me! I find that often times while I am writing, its almost like I am meditating and I get answers to my own questions, or my guide comes through for me with a message or a vision.

I’ve been consciously making the effort to write multiple days of the week. It was getting to the point where I’d skip months and months at a time between entries. And it felt like I was just always playing catch up. It resulted in me not enjoying my time when I’d read back or disappointment when I realized that I never wrote about a specific day/event. These days I look forward to my writing session. Tip: If you’re new to journaling try to write more often. I say this because my hand would hurt after I’d write long entries. Not as much now because I’ve been in the groove of things. I blame it on technology! We’re all getting used to typing and relying on our thumbs! Thumbs need all the credit we can give them, lol. Happy Journaling!

Love & light always, Cin.